


New York PEN § 245.00

by Robin Hood (kjack89)



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Humor, M/M, Public Blow Jobs, Public Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-19
Updated: 2017-08-19
Packaged: 2018-12-17 08:09:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11847474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kjack89/pseuds/Robin%20Hood
Summary: “And then did you arrest them?” Barba asked, still smirking.Carisi shrugged. “Of course not,” he scoffed. “What, and cite ‘em with public indecency? They were young and stupid. Not worth ruining their lives over.” Barba made a face like he didn’t agree and Carisi narrowed his eyes at him. “I don’t think you’d find a cop anywhere who’d be willing to throw a couple of teenagers in jail for that. Besides, they got cited for underage drinking along with the rest of the kids at the party. That’s punishment enough.”There was something strange in Barba’s expression as he looked at Carisi, and Carisi swallowed, hard, recognizing that look far too well. Barba smirked and drained his scotch. “Well, on that note, it’s past time that I went home. Detective, walk me out?”





	New York PEN § 245.00

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tobeconspicuous](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tobeconspicuous/gifts), [AHumanFemale](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AHumanFemale/gifts).



> I don't write smut.
> 
> And yet...
> 
> Anyway, title comes from the New York penal code, the section on public lewdness, to be specific. Mainly because I want some unfortunate law student to be googling one day and find this instead of what they were actually searching for.
> 
> Eternal thanks to the lovely AHumanFemale, who was gracious enough to read over this and make sure my awkward smut wasn't, you know, too awkward.
> 
> Usual disclaimer. Please be kind and tip your fanfic writers in the form of comments and/or kudos!

A burst of laughter followed Fin’s story, and Rollins took a swig of beer before turning expectantly to Carisi. “Alright, Carisi, it’s your turn — what’s the funniest arrest you’ve ever made?”

“Ah, c’mon, all mine are boring,” Carisi said, grinning.

“I sincerely doubt that, Detective,” Barba said, taking a sip of scotch as he smirked at Carisi. “What, no wild and exciting arrests from your patrol days on Staten Island?”

Carisi rolled his eyes. “Nah,” he said dismissively, taking a swig of beer. “A lotta domestics, lotta drunk and disorderlies, pretty standard.” He paused as he took another sip of beer. “Oh, one time, I caught this chick giving a guy a smoothie outside a house.”

Barba raised an eyebrow. “A smoothie?” he repeated, amusement plain in his expression.

“That’s what Carisi calls blowjobs,” Rollins interjected, grinning wickedly when Carisi blushed crimson.

Barba almost choked on an ill-timed sip of scotch, though his expression was perfectly neutral when he looked at Carisi. “Smoothies, Detective?” he murmured, his voice quiet enough that it was clearly intended only for Carisi’s ears. “Lord only knows what you call actual sex.”

Carisi’s eyes met Barba’s, something of a challenge in his gaze, and after a moment, it was Barba who looked away, a tinge of pink in his cheeks as he took a sip of scotch. “Anyway,” Carisi continued, his smile more of a smirk as he settled back in his seat, “it was probably, like, my third week on the job and we got called out for a noise disturbance on a college house party. Fairly routine shit, you know? But we pulled up and my partner told me to do a perimeter sweep, try to keep anyone I could on the premises. So I walked around the side of the house with my flashlight, right? And what do I stumble upon but a girl giving this guy a fairly impressive blowjob, all things considered.”

Fin snorted and drained his beer. “Fairly impressive?” he questioned, his tone wry. “Do I even want to know why you consider it fairly impressive?”

If possible, Carisi’s blushed even more than before. “Uh, I just mean, uh, it was pretty…” He trailed off, looking for the right word. “Pretty pornographic.”

Liv snorted and finished her glass of wine. “As fascinating as Carisi’s description of this blowjob will undoubtedly end up being, I have to get home to Noah.” She gave them all a measured look. “I’d tell you all to behave, but I know better.”

“Bye, Lieu,” Carisi called after her, toasting her with his beer as she left, and he took another sip before turning back to the group. “So anyway, this girl is going at it and the guy obviously isn’t paying attention to anything else in the world — I mean, neither of them are, obviously, since neither of them even noticed me standing there for like a whole minute.”

“You watched them for a whole minute?” Barba asked. “Bit of a voyeur, Detective?”

Carisi rolled his eyes. “Not like that,” he said impatiently. “I mean, I was hoping they’d see the flashlight and stop, but they didn’t.”

Rollins laughed. “Two college kids going at it? You probably could’ve read them the riot act and they wouldn’t have noticed.”

“Exactly my point,” Carisi said, tipping his beer towards her. “So anyway, when the flashlight didn’t do much, I cleared my throat really loudly, and when _that_ didn’t work—”

Fin snorted. “Please don’t tell me you arrested them mid-BJ.”

Carisi just shook his head. “No, actually, I was like, ‘Really, guys? Really?’ Cuz, I mean, c’mon. Have _some_ class, y’know?”

“And then did you arrest them?” Barba asked, still smirking.

Carisi shrugged. “Of course not,” he scoffed. “What, and cite ‘em with public indecency? They were young and stupid. Not worth ruining their lives over.” Barba made a face like he didn’t agree and Carisi narrowed his eyes at him. “I don’t think you’d find a cop anywhere who’d be willing to throw a couple of teenagers in jail for that. Besides, they got cited for underage drinking along with the rest of the kids at the party. That’s punishment enough.”

There was something strange in Barba’s expression as he looked at Carisi, and Carisi swallowed, hard, recognizing that look far too well. Barba smirked and drained his scotch. “Well, on that note, it’s past time that I went home. Detective, walk me out?”

Carisi’s cheeks were tinged pink and he stood, draining his beer before telling Barba, a little hoarsely, “Yeah, sure.” He glanced over at Rollins, who was staring at him with raised eyebrows. “I’ll be right back,” he assured her, though she still looked skeptical. “Order me another beer and if I’m not back by the time you finish yours, you can have mine on me.”

Rollins and Fin exchanged dubious glances but Carisi ignored them, following Barba outside. “Something you wanted to discuss, Counselor?” he asked.

Barba tilted his head slightly as he smirked up at Carisi. “Yes,” he said, pleasantly. “But not here.”

He jerked his head down the street and Carisi followed, confused. When they were halfway down the street, Barba turned, grabbed Carisi by the lapels of his coat and dragged him into the shadowed alcove of a closed storefront, pressing him against the wall and kissing him.

Carisi groaned, low in his throat, automatically wrapping his arms around Barba. “We gotta stop meeting like this,” he joked when they broke apart. “Did you honestly just drag me out here so we can make out like teenagers?”

“Not quite,” Barba said, smirking, and he palmed Carisi’s cock through his slacks, his smirk widening when Carisi let out a choked off moan.

Carisi looked at him, eyes dark with want. “Then what did you have in mind?”

“I thought we could test your theory, Detective,” Barba said, a glint in his eye as he carefully undid Carisi’s belt. “See if any other cop would've written them a ticket.”

Carisi’s mouth went dry as Barba unzipped his pants and shoved his hand inside, his hand closing around Carisi’s half-hard cock. “Are you outta your fucking mind?” he hissed, though he had to throw his head back when Barba swiped his thumb over the head. “Do you _want_ to get caught?”

Barba’s grin was predatory as he tugged Carisi’s pants and boxer briefs down enough that his rapidly-hardening cock was exposed. “But Detective, you’re the one who said that no cop would charge someone for this.”

“No cop would charge a teenager,” Carisi snapped, the breath catching in his throat as Barba lazily pumped his cock. “And we are _definitely_ not teenagers.”

“No, we’re not,” Barba agreed, slowly kneeling down, and as always, the sight of Barba on his knees in front of him made Carisi harder than he thought was possible. “Which is good, because I wouldn’t want to have statutory rape added to the list of theoretical charges.”

Without warning, he took Carisi’s cock in his mouth, swirling his tongue around the tip and Carisi moaned, one hand automatically reaching out to tangle in Barba’s hair. He rocked his hips slightly and Barba glared at him, reaching up with one large hand to press his hips back against the wall and hold them in place. “Not so fast,” Barba said warningly before running his tongue teasingly over Carisi’s slit. “Before I let you come, I want you to tell me all the things you should’ve charged those kids with.”

Carisi stared down at him. “Are you fucking kidding me right now?”

Barba answered by taking Carisi back into his mouth, hollowing his cheeks as he slowly slid down Carisi’s cock. Then, just as abruptly, he pulled off, smirking up at Carisi. “I’m deadly serious, Detective. After all, I just learned that my lover used to be a negligent cop, so I want to make sure he’s still sharp.”

Carisi wasn’t sure which to address first, Barba referring to him as his lover or accusing him of negligence, but then Barba’s mouth was back on him and all other thoughts disappeared. "Pu-public lewdness," Carisi gasped, both hands tangled in Barba's hair. Barba hummed in appreciative agreement and Carisi's hips stuttered. "Fuck, Raf—"  
  
Barba pulled back slightly. "I don't think you can get charged with that," he said mildly before running his tongue up Carisi’s length. “Besides, I want article and section. Impress me with your legal knowledge, Detective — Lord knows you use every other opportunity to do so.”

“You’re gonna get off on the New York state penal code?” Carisi asked, as incredulous as he could manage with a string of his precum stretching from the tip of his cock to Barba’s lips.

“No,” Barba said simply, looking up at Carisi. “You are.”

Then he swallowed Carisi down again, and Carisi actually whimpered. “Uh, public lewdness is, uh, Article 245, Section…” He moaned, letting go of Barba’s head and steadying himself against the wall instead. “Section 0, isn’t it? That’s, uh, that’s a class B misdemeanor.”

Barba didn’t bother pulling back to let him know he was right. Instead, he took Carisi further into his mouth, his tongue sliding along the underside of Carisi’s cock, and Carisi moaned again, trying to remember what else they could be charged with. “Uh, exposure of a person,” he managed. “Article 245, Section 01. Vi-violation.”

He shuddered from the sheer effort of trying not to buck into the warm heat of Barba’s mouth, biting down on his lip, his cheeks flushed. “There’s, uh — _fuck_ , Raf — disorderly conduct. Article 240, Section 20. Also a violation.”

Barba pulled back then, Carisi’s cock sliding out of his mouth with an obscene-sounding _pop_. “And?” he prompted, stroking Carisi’s cock as he smirked up at him.

Carisi looked down at him, his chest rapidly rising and falling as he felt his orgasm edging ever closer. “And what?” he asked.

Barba rolled his eyes. “Come on,” he said impatiently, his voice a low growl, and he bit down on the inside of Carisi’s thigh, smirking when he gasped. “There’s more case law than that. Think about it.”

“Uh,” Carisi said, because his brain has short circuited at least five minutes past. “Uh, shit, there’s, uh, loitering. Section…” He trailed off, groaning when Barba teasingly flicked the tip of his tongue against the head of Carisi’s cock. “Fuck, uh, Article 240, Section 35.”

Barba made a pleased sound and took just the tip of Carisi’s cock into his mouth, swirling his tongue around it, and Carisi moaned, obscenely loud, reaching out to twist his fingers in Barba’s hair again. Then, without warning, Barba pulled off and Carisi groaned, his hips jerking in a desperate attempt to reclaim the heat of Barba’s mouth, the motion stopped only by Barba’s firm grip on Carisi’s hips. “Close,” Barba said, before dragging his tongue down the length of Carisi’s cock. “But the section you’re thinking of was ruled unconstitutional.”

Carisi threw his head back as Barba mouthed at his balls. “How — the fuck — do you remember all that?” he gasped.

Barba rocked back on his heels to smirk up at him. “Talent, Detective. Plain and simple.” He casually wrapped a hand around Carisi’s cock and gave it a slow, almost lazy pump. “So. It was ruled unconstitutional. Give me the case and I’ll let you come in my mouth.”

Carisi very nearly almost came from Barba merely saying that, and it took every shred of his self-control to even begin to dredge up the case in question. “Uh, it was — it was somethin’ to do with g-gay men targeted by the NYPD,” he managed. “Uh, fuck, it was — People v. Uplinger. Supreme Court dismissed the writ of certiorari.”

“Good boy,” Barba practically purred before swallowing him down once more, taking him in so deep that Carisi could feel when his cock hit the back of Barba’s throat.

“Fuck,” he moaned, and Barba’s eyes met his as he slowly and deliberately let go of Carisi’s hip, a silent invitation for Carisi to do whatever he wanted with Barba’s mouth.

And Carisi did, holding Barba’s head in place as he fucked his mouth. “Fuck,” he hissed. “Fuck, Rafi, I’m gonna—” He didn’t even get the words out as a warning before he was coming in hot, thick spurts down Barba’s throat.

Barba swallowed and Carisi’s knees nearly buckled at the sensation. He pulled out of Barba’s mouth and reached down to cup Barba’s chin, tracing his thumb across his flushed red lips. “That was incredibly illegal, Counselor.”

Slowly, Barba stood, helping Carisi rearrange himself and get his pants pulled back up. “And yet, just like you said, no cop arrested us.”

“Yeah, because we got lucky,” Carisi said, without any real heat, leaning bonelessly against the wall.

“Well, _you_ got lucky,” Barba said, smirking. “Though I do expect you to return the favor at some point.”

Carisi groaned and sagged forward to rest his forehead against Barba’s shoulder. “Christ, Counselor, you really want us to get caught, don’t you?”

Barba wrapped his arms around Carisi’s waist, the gentleness of the gesture belying the snark in his tone when he answered. “Please,” he scoffed. “New York law requires ‘intent to be seen’ to be found guilty of public lewdness. I’m fairly certain that if it came to it, I could get us off.” He paused. “In more ways than one."

Carisi huffed a laugh and kissed Barba, revelling as always at the taste of himself on Barba’s lips. “It’d almost be worth ruining my stellar personnel record for,” he joked.

“Stellar?” Barba repeated dubiously. “When you were passed from borough to borough like a proverbial hot potato?”

Carisi considered that for a moment. “Fair point,” he allowed, kissing Barba again. “But I’m not the one with at least, what, three suspensions on my record, now am I?”

And he captured Barba’s spluttered indignation with another kiss.

* * *

 

Rollins sighed heavily and glanced up at the clock, having long since finished her own beer and having drunk half of Carisi’s. “Do you think Carisi’s ever planning on coming back?” she asked, taking another a sip of Carisi’s beer.

Fin considered it as he also drank his beer. “Nah,” he said dismissively.

Rollins sighed resignedly. “Should one of us go check on him?” she asked.

Fin snorted and drained his beer. “Hell no.”


End file.
